Stairs and The Phantom Thief of Awesome
by BewareTheIdesOfMarch
Summary: I was bored, and Dark imitates a goldfish after an encounter with an annoyed author.  It's awesome.  I promise.


Author's Note: Hello to anyone reading this! This is my first fan-fic ever... Well I've got to start somewhere! Please review if you see any spelling mistakes or grammar errors, or anything that just seems wrong... Heck just review! I don't care if it's a flame! (But nice reviews would be appreciated!) I really don't have anything against Dark, I was just bored and this is what happened. I have to give credit to Fireflower19 who I took "Goldfish!" from, but nothing else.

Disclaimer: I wish…*sighs* But it is _my_ staircase! Back off lawyer-type people!

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><p>Dark Mousey stood in a brightly lit room. Actually, it wasn't really a room, seeing as it went on pretty far in every direction. If he squinted, he could just see the walls and ceiling, which happened to be just as white as the floor. He'd been here before, many a time. Dark knew this place well; it was the inside of an author's mind.<p>

Whenever a fanfiction author wanted to write a story with him in it, he appeared in their mind, while they decided what to do with him. Sometimes there would be other characters already in the room, ones he knew, and ones he didn't, and sometimes the author would be there for a self-insert, but that didn't happen nearly as often. He wasn't always the first person there, lots of the time Daisuke or Wiz, or even Krad would show up with him in the beginning. Other times the room would be full of characters that'd already been given their scripts, and were deep into the story. It just depended on the fancy of the writer. But right now, Dark was in the room alone.

He hoped they weren't just going to do one of those angsty, internal thought stories. Just thinking about all the bad things he'd done was no fun. The phantom thief waited for a few moments for the writer to compose his or herself and get the action going.

Nothing happened.

He waited longer, and, to amuse himself, tried to guess which character would show up next.

Still nothing.

Now Dark was getting bored. What in the world was the author up to? They'd summoned him hadn't they? So why wasn't anything happening? Then an idea struck him. Maybe they didn't know who he was! It had happened before, whoever it was who had thought of him had a total brain-fart and completely forgot his name. This thought offended him. _Dark_ was a relatively easy name. It wasn't that hard to remember! Maybe he had better remind them, just to jump-start the action…

"Ahem." He paused, and looked around for any signs of life before continuing. "Um, this is Dark Mousey speaking, is anyone out there?"

Silence answered him.

He tried again. "Dark Mousey, phantom thief, at your service!"

Nothing. The walls and floor remained white and Dark continued to be the only person there.

"Yes, this is the incredibly handsome phantom thief Dark speaking, how may I help you?"

Zero, zip, zilch, nada.

Fine, if it was going to be like that… This called for a full introduction!

"Greetings author, my name is Dark Mousey, famous phantom thief, and brilliantly handsome main character! I'll have you know that no lady can resist my charms, nor do they try. I am so undeniably awesome that even that creep Krad fails to stop me from stealing Hikari art! He's even got the entire police force behind him too! I'm magic! I'm too cool for school! I'm bigger than the big man on campus! I'm more interesting than The Most Interesting Man in the World! I can be sparklier than a vampire! I've got more fans than any type of Host Club! I-"

Whatever it was that Dark was going to say next was cut off by the appearance of two things: A very long flight of stairs and a teenage girl who he took to be the author. Having found himself the presence of another person (finally!) he turned and focused directly on her.

"Hello," he said. "I'm Dark, the phantom thief of awesome! How may I help yo-" Again, he found himself cut off, but this time in a very different way.

_Bang! Thump! Smack! Whap! Bam! Thunk! Wham! _

Those are some of the sounds a phantom thief makes when an annoyed teenage girl pushes him down an unnaturally long flight of stairs. There was also a lot of swearing, but I think I'll leave that out.

After finally reaching the bottom, a very bruised and battered "phantom thief of awesome" sat up and looked at the person who had caught him so off guard.

"What the heck was that for?"

"Sorry, it's just that you can be such an annoying jerk sometimes. It's nothing personal, I just hate your character." She said it so matter-of-factly that all Dark could do was stare at her.

Finally he found his voice. "If you hate me so much, then why did you call me here?"

"I thought your ego could do with a little deflating, Mr. 'Phantom-Thief-Of-Awesome'. I guess I thought right."

Dark opened and closed his mouth several times, not sure how to respond to that.

The author giggled. "Goldfish!" she said.

THE END

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><p>AN:I hope you enjoyed it! Now please press the review button! Please?<p>

Edit: I'm so sorry! In the note at the top, I accidentally spelled Fireflower19's name with a 29. So sorry! (Thanks for pointing it out though, I would have never noticed...)


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